Posted tagged ‘Beach House’

Chris Bosh is a pussy

January 27, 2011

“Can I have two tickets to see The Roger?” – Bins’ Chinese girlfriend asking for tickets to see Rodger Federer

After months of exile, the Jose has decided to make a comeback.  Hopefully this comeback won’t be as painful as Michael Jordan’s effort with the Wizards, or as short as Tony Lockett’s last stint as a Swan.  I can guarantee you that I will be maintaining this blog at least once a week.

So what has happened to the yellow one since he dominated Chicago?

– Made $2300 from sports betting – which I have now created a new segment in this blog called “I’m not to be blamed for your gambling problem, but here is my best sports bet of the week”

– I bought a bowling ball, and will now join a league to continue on pursuing my dream as a professional bowler – My ball has FREEZE engraved on it.  It’s so cool.

– Became obsessed with Derrick Rose – MVP MVP MVP

– Became obsessed with Blake Griffin – I cannot believe that I’ve nearly  watched the same amount of Clippers games as I have with Bulls games.

So what’s with the title of this post?  Bosh, who plays for the Miami Heat (what’s Miami Heat (for the majority of my friends)?  It’s a NBA basketball team which requires a player to be an absolute douchebag to join the team), recently pulled out the following comment:

“C’mon, that is how guys get hurt, that is how serious injuries happen,” Bosh said.”You’ve got to watch people’s legs. I know guys want to hustle and everything but we all want to play and provide for our families and have a job.”

This is after a Bulls player, Omer Asik, went to dive for a ball (it’s called hustle Chris!) and accidently injured Bosh’s ankle.  Chris Bosh earns approximately $17 million a season over the next five years, so I think he’ll be alright in providing for his family (unless his family is the whole of the state of Texas, which I’m sure it isn’t).

I’ve recently had dreams of being a starting point guard for the Chicago Bulls (sorry Derrick, but I can shoot a lot better than you).  I was dreaming that I was the superstar of the team, and had thoughts of what music I would have while I was playing.  I was thinking at the start of the first quarter, I would have ‘Walk in the Park’ by Beach House.  A perfect song to calm the nerves at the start of the game, and get me in rhythm while I destroy the opposition.  And if my team was behind, I would play ‘Sabotage’ by the Beastie Boys to provide panic in the opposition and at the same time provide the necessary fuel to start a comeback.  And just before tip off, I would have ‘Know Your Enemy’ by Rage Against the Machine, just to ensure that there will be no fraternising with the opposition.

If Jamie Oliver can change the school’s food menu, can we have Nigella introduce her line of fatty foods at sports venue?

And to my “I’m not to be blamed for your gambling problem, but here is my best sports bet of the week”…

Miami to beat New York by more than 11 points at $3.90

Reason: New York has not played very well at all  in the last 10 games (3-7), and seen a drop in production from Amare and Felton.  LeDouche likes playing at Madison Square Garden, and his teams have always pummeled the Knicks (even during the last encounter in New York when the Knicks were flying).